Boiling Frogs and Burning Out
Stories and anecdotes are a great way to help us make sense of the human experience. One of my favourite ways of explaining how burnout can occur is the analogy of the boiling frog. Now as a vegetarian, I’m happy to learn that biologically this is not true but it gives us a vivid picture of how burnout can wear us down.
It goes like this...
If you put a frog into a pot of boiling water, it would immediately give a powerful push with its legs and jump out.
However, imagine a pot filled with cold water. A frog is quietly swimming in it. When the heat is turned on under the pot, the water starts warming up which initially feels okay to the frog who keeps swimming and warming up. The water continues to heat and is a little more than the frog finds comfortable. It becomes a bit tired but doesn’t panic. The water continues to warm to the point the frog finds it very unpleasant but it has become weak so it puts up with the heat and does nothing. The temperature continues to rise up to the moment the frog will simply end up being cooked without ever extracting itself from the point.
I have worked with many health care workers and when used in the context of burnout you can often see the cogs turning before exclamations of ‘this is me’!
How many of us during the course of our life at home and work have remained in situations that were not good for us, that slowly damage our body and mind and yet we cannot quite make that jump out of the water? This can be for many reasons such as fear, apathy, concern about change, worry about other options or just thinking and hoping things will get better. Unfortunately, if we stay for too long in an unhealthy situation we are either forced to jump or we end up as frog soup!
As humans we are amazingly adaptable which forms part of our resilience. Sometimes though, our adaptability comes at a cost. When we are in unhealthy situations at home or work this can lead to negative coping strategies such as comfort eating, limited exercise, spending excessive time worrying about our situation or generally just losing the essence of ourselves – our spark!
I have certainly been in this position a couple of times. On one occasion, I stayed longer than was healthy before I felt compelled to jump but in another situation with greater self awareness, I was able to jump out of the pot earlier.
It takes an effort of will to realistically recognise our situation and modify the destructive situation we are in and our less than positive response to it because we often start to see the unhealthy situation as normal or ‘just how it is’.
Questions we need to ask ourselves include:
· The importance of awareness
Are we at risk of becoming boiled frogs? Are we aware of what is happening to us, within us? Are we able to pause, take care of ourselves and jump out of the pot before we are cooked?
· Building resilience, preventing burnout
To prevent burnout and build resilience we need to pay attention, develop awareness and recognise when the temperature is rising, by becoming familiar with the signs of heat (stress) given by our body, emotions, and thoughts.
· Assess your situation
Are you in a pot of boiling water? Is it a good idea to stick around? Would it be better to jump out immediately?
· Is there anything YOU can do to take control and adjust the temperature of the water?
Is jumping or becoming boiled the only option? Healthcare colleagues I have spoken to suggest there might be a third option: adjusting the temperature yourself. If this is a job you used to love, is there a way you can fall back in love with your job and stay well? This might include developing strategies to take control of the situation to keep the pot at a lukewarm or comfortable temperature.
Future blogs will focus on tools and strategies for adjusting the water temperature and what to do if the temperature keeps rising.
This is where coaching can help. Whether it is helping you work through the implications of jumping or helping you to think through strategies for adjusting the temperature, an objective thinking partner can help you release your own resourcefulness to deal with the situation.
If this sounds like something you would find helpful contact me for a free discovery call/meeting to find out how we might work together to keep you out of that boiling water!
Julie