Life Balance rather than Work/Life Balance: how would it feel to consciously curate your life?

For a while now, I’ve felt uncomfortable with the term ‘work/life balance’. The separation of ‘work’ and ‘life’ has always felt unnatural to me. For better or worse, work is part of our life  and makes up part of our whole existence. I am being increasingly drawn to the idea of Life Balance; a more holistic way of framing our experiences and intentions. Most of us want our lives to be in balance. One part of that is work and I feel it is unhelpful to think of work on one side of the equation and ‘life’ on the other.

For this reason, I enjoyed Kate Northrup’s book ‘Do Less”: a revolutionary approach to time and energy management for ambitious women. It contains some gems. Reading the first few chapters will explain why it is focused on women but the principles apply to us all. Sometimes, doing less but doing it really well can lead to more fulfilment in all aspects of our lives.

Kate starts with the premise that in our culture, the way we work often isn’t working for us. We are often trying to do more which leaves us feeling like we are not doing anything particularly well at work, at home or in our relationships. Technology and different ways of working now means we are more accessible than ever and it can be even harder to switch off from the demands of everybody! Instead of trying unsuccessfully to change the system, she suggests looking for the answers within ourselves – the essence of coaching!

We can create our own new system – one that works for us. The book is full of nuggets but a couple that struck a chord with me are:

1.     Consciously curate your life and take back control: think in terms of a weekly planner that includes all aspects of YOU

When thinking about what needs to happen in the forthcoming week, she suggests you ask yourself some key questions:

§  What is my energy like at the moment? What is likely to increase that energy or deplete it this week and what do I need to do about that?

§  What are my top three priorities that need addressing this week (remember to include home, relationships, self care) and what are the sub tasks that relate to those priorities?

§  How am I feeling at the moment and how do I want to feel? I would add here a further question: am I doing enough of what nourishes me or brings me joy?

§  What else is going on that might impact me this week?

2.     With this self awareness you can change your ‘to do’ list into an ‘intention’ list.

Many of us (myself included) can use our ‘to do’ list as an anxiolytic to avoid a rising sense of panic as the tasks stack up. A list helps me compartmentalise what I need to do, what is most important and whether I am the right person to do it. However, if it is really just a brain dump of everything that is needing to be done, it can actually have the opposite effect and cause a feeling of overwhelm.

Having answered the above questions, I now incorporate all aspects of my upcoming week in my intention list. I work better and am more productive when all of my life is in balance. If am reading enough, moving my body, connecting with others I am in a better place to achieve with work. For example, if I want to spend quality time with my friends/family, that goes on the list. If I benefit from getting up earlier to go for a sea swim, that goes on the list. It makes me more likely to do it and gives it the same importance as the work related tasks.

Alongside the work tasks, to keep myself focused on one week at a time, I now ask myself the following questions:

§  Does this need to be done? If yes, does it need to be done now?

§  Does it need to be done by me or would someone else be a better fit for this?

§  What do I need to let go of?

§  What should I be doing less of?

We live and work in a frenetic world and sometimes we may feel as if we have little control over this with the multiple demands of home and work. However, we do have control over ourselves, our behaviour, our attitudes and our actions. Showing up as our best selves takes a bit of planning but it’s worth it.

Coaching conversations can help you to consciously curate your own life taking into account your own unique circumstances. If this feels like something you would like to explore, you can contact me for a no obligation free discovery call. Contact me on flamingoplm2022@gmail.com