We can do hard things! Growth happens when we move out of our comfort zones

I know that I learn most about myself when I take on challenges that push me either physically, emotionally or intellectually...but it is still hard! This month I’m sharing a recent experience of walking in the Spanish mountains and the life lessons it has taught me. I’m joined by our expert mountain guide Jose Miguel Garcia who also shares his insights on what a lifetime of walking in these mountains has taught him about life.

One of my favourite podcasts to listen to is ‘We can do hard things’ hosted by Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach. It focuses on how we can harness our inner resources to face life challenges. Their mantra was a constant refrain in my head as I spent a week trekking up and down a range of very steep mountains in the Sierra de Aitana region. Although we had booked it a long time ago pre pandemic, this trip came at the best possible time. With some distressing family news occupying my mind and a busy work diary, I was ready for a week of physical activity in the fresh air which always makes me feel grounded and ready to face whatever is waiting for me on my return.

So, although I recognised my usual emotion of excitement and anticipation of a week walking, what I was not expecting was that I would be fearful (difficult terrain and very high peaks) and humble (needing to admit vulnerability and feeling very ‘small’). It was a week of contrasts; the walks were tough but stunningly beautiful, I was feeling physically stronger but afraid of falling. I wanted to project myself as a confident walker but was concerned about holding others back if I was slower.

It turns out that the mountains, the group and our expert guide had things to teach me. These are the top three lessons I learned or was reminded of on a truly soul replenishing trip at a time when I needed it most:

1.     Admit vulnerability and ask for help or support when you need it

The other walkers in our group were all very experienced. I thought we were too until we met them! For the first two days, I did not admit I was worried about the size of the mountains we were about to walk up or the challenges of the terrain. I was fearful of being judged for not being as experienced as they were and was uncomfortable about making myself seem vulnerable. I just kept quiet, kept my head down and hoped I didn’t fall. It was only after the second day when I looked at the particularly high peak we were going to approach that I admitted my doubts about the challenge and that I was unsure whether I could achieve all that was planned.

I was not judged. By admitting vulnerability and trusting in those around me, it strengthened our connection and enabled others to offer advice, support and encouragement when I needed it. This friendly support helped me to complete all the walks/climbs safely as planned instead of suffering in silence or pulling out.

2.     Persevere: when the challenge is tough, just take it one step at a time...literally!

Make sure you take breaks. Our mid morning ‘elevenses’ chocolate breaks became my favourite part of the day. When we were walking relentlessly upwards, this was a chance to replenish, take stock and get ready for the next push...one step at a time.

3.     Acknowledge and really feel your emotions.

Having to concentrate on each step meant that I was completely in the moment. When I felt humble due to the scale of the challenge, I stayed with that feeling. When the heights looked unachievable, I acknowledged that feeling and took it one step at a time. When I got to the top and felt exhilarated, I also felt quite emotional. I made sure I stayed with that feeling too! The mountains helped me reconnect with my soul.

A few insights from Jose

It was a privilege and a pleasure to meet and spend time with Jose, an award winning guide who was born in this area. We were walking in the footsteps of his life. Jose is passionate about his role as a guide and knows each hill and gully inside out which is no surprise when we learned that he helped to write the maps of this area. Here he shares what he has learned from a lifetime of walking in the mountains.

1.     Walking makes you stronger physically and mentally

The stronger you are physically, the stronger you are mentally. You can be tired walking in the mountains but if you keep going, one step at a time, it makes you physically and mentally stronger as you are pushing your limits. Whatever distance is your challenge, short or long, knowing you can keep going when you are tired or worried and push your limits can help you to push limits in other areas of your life.

2.     The mountains give you perspective

Something as simple as being on top of a summit can help me solve my problems from a different angle. It gives me that physical distance from which I can see my problems and my life. I can see the city of Alicante in the distance. I can see my family below under my feet. I can visualise my house in the distance. I can see my problems below, isolate them in the distance and I find solutions for them. I can also visualise happiness from the summit – I can see my partner Sara, my house and my dog Bobi. It makes me happy because I can feel how privileged I am.

3.     Connection with people is important: we are better together

When you are in the mountains you are never alone. Being with my friends is the best of the best but I am also often with others who I guide on the trips. I always try to find a connection because shared moments with other humans is something special. No matter your background or your differences if you share a bit of passion for the beauty of the mountains, you have a connection.

I invite you to reflect on your own ‘mountains’. What are your challenges and how do they make you stronger? What have you learned about yourself as a result?

We CAN do hard things