Walk toward opportunity…and straight out of your comfort zone?

Just before I took the plunge into self-employment, I was working in a role full of unrealistic expectations and long hours but it paid well and threw me together with a group of hard working and inspirational colleagues. I had been sitting on the seed of an idea for setting up a coaching and training consultancy since the second period of pandemic lockdown when I had used my annual leave time and money earmarked for travel to complete a coaching qualification. Originally meant as a ‘retirement plan’, this seed was starting to shoot up as I couldn’t get a nagging question out of my mind. Why was I waiting for retirement to follow this growing need to try something new?

I knew I wanted more ‘balance’ in my life. Balance is different for all of us but for me, it means being able to:

·      Do interesting and meaningful work that has an impact on others fulfilling their potential whatever form that may take

·      Pay my bills!

·      Travel and learn

·      Create ‘headspace’ for me to write

As I started to plan a way forward and weigh up the potential but also the disadvantages of giving up this well paid job to carve out a different way of living for myself, I attended a talk given by a visiting inspirational speaker; Dame Neslyn Watson Druee, a global coaching leader. She talked about change and transition being scary and even when we think we know what we want, deciding to act to pursue it can require a leap of faith. It felt like she knew what was in my head and was talking just to me! Two phrases she used stayed with me and have been written on ‘post it’ notes above my desk at home since then...

“Be the CEO of your own life”

“Walk toward opportunity”

It was another couple of months and a lot more behind the scenes planning before I felt brave enough to take that leap of faith and resign. This was not a simple process in my mind. Imposter syndrome came back to bite me often. I applied for another job inbetween ‘just in case’ and of course I had that niggling question in my mind ‘what if this doesn’t work’ but I was able to counter that with the reply...

‘...but what if it does’?

People Like Me Coaching and Training Consultancy has just reached its 18 month mark and all is going well...in fact, better than ‘well’ if I look at my markers for balance listed above. I have designed a package of work that makes the most of my skills and makes an impact on others (individuals and/or teams). I can cover my bills, travel as much as I am able, I write often and take the opportunity to learn new things that interest me.

If that sounds easy – well, it is and it isn’t. It's easy because I love my new life but it is also hard because work doesn’t grow on trees and the nature of the work I have chosen means I often don’t know more than a couple of months in advance where the next payment will be coming from. So I still have to walk toward opportunity and out of my comfort zone regularly as new opportunities arise. Walking toward opportunity keeps me in a constant state of curiosity and helps me to grow personally and professionally.

You don’t have to do something as drastic as leaving your job to walk towards your own opportunity. But you do need to be clear on your ‘why’ you are saying yes or no to opportunities that may come your way, whether big or small.

Being clear on my ‘why’ and my direction of travel helps me decide whether an opportunity is worth the discomfort of walking towards it or whether it is one I should just let walk on by. There was an example recently when I was asked if I was available to design and facilitate an event for a large group of senior colleagues in the health care sector who wanted to achieve something specific. This was within my skillset and something I have done previously as an employee of other organisations but my introverted inner self who prefers working on a 1-1 basis immediately went to a self talk of  ‘NO – this will be very hard and very ‘peoply’’! However, I then countered this thinking by asking myself if this piece of work would:

·      Be consistent with my values and my vision for supporting others to fulfil potential?

·      Make an impact?

·      Provide potential contacts for future work?

·      Pay me my required rate?

The answer to all of these questions was ‘yes’ so I had very little rationale for not walking towards this other than the fact that I would be stretching myself out of my comfort zone again – putting my introverted head above the parapet. However, the questions above proved to me that the payoffs were worth this discomfort. So once I had decided to walk towards that opportunity, I made it count and followed certain steps to minimise any discomfort:

·      I prepared in detail and well – making sure I had all the information I need, drawing on the expertise of others around when needed, drew on my experience and expertise of what had worked well in similar situations previously

·      I gave it the time it deserved – if someone has valued me by giving me an opportunity, I give the same respect back by setting time aside for preparation and protecting this

·      I planned in a treat! After doing anything out of my comfort zone, I plan in a reward. In this case, after a morning of facilitating, I went straight to a local café and had eggs on toast and a quiet half an hour by myself not talking to a soul.

·      Reflect: was I right to have taken this opportunity? What did I learn? What would I do differently?

If I had said no to this opportunity and stayed comfortably in my quiet place I would have missed having the privilege of facilitating and witnessing the amazing commitment this group of senior colleagues have to making a collective impact on the health of our Islanders. I would have missed being invited to join two other forums following this event, both of which also have a great big tick to the questions above. I would have missed the chance of trying out a couple of new facilitation ideas.

As I said earlier, taking or leaving an opportunity doesn’t need to be something as big as a job change or taking on a piece of work. I have a friend who has always wanted to learn about art history. A course was advertised and she really wanted to go but she was nervous about going alone and nobody else she knew was interested. She decided she wouldn’t go. When we talked about it a few weeks later, she was full of regret. She felt if she had only been brave enough to walk through the door on the first evening, she would have been fine. She recognised that a few minutes of discomfort initially would have been worth it to gain weeks worth of joyful knowledge. She has signed up for the next course and will be walking towards her own opportunity - to learn something she has always wanted to know more about.

So, my invitation to you is this…when opportunity knocks on your door, in whatever form, come up with your own criteria for saying yes or no based on what is important to you. We all reach forks in the road, we all have choices. If you make them intentionally and mindfully it is more likely to be the right choice for you. What level of discomfort can you live with if the payoffs are even bigger? The answer is different for all of us and there is no right or wrong – sometimes it is the best decision to let an opportunity pass you by maybe because of timing or circumstances. But...if it is because of discomfort, then just maybe there is a way forward.

“If you come to a fork in the road...take it” Yogi Berra

If you want to explore your own ‘forks in the road’ please do get in touch!