Don’t be a boiled frog! If you’re feeling overwhelmed at work, read on…

In our modern workplace our boundaries are blurred like never before.

Since the pandemic our home and work lives are perhaps more integrated than ever. Many of us carry our offices in our pockets on our phones; we Facetime our families during breaks and pivot between our personal and professional selves seamlessly. Others may prefer to have clear boundaries between work and home and don’t mix the two.  Both those approaches are equally valid if it works for you in your life.

Where it goes a bit pear shaped is when it all starts to feel just a bit overwhelming and if you don’t pay attention to those feelings of overwhelm, you could be in boiling frog territory.

I’ve talked about the analogy of the boiling frog in relation to burnout before but this month it feels really relevant to come back to because:

·      It’s January and everything seems just a bit harder in January when it’s so cold but maybe that is just me! (Note I don’t subscribe to the ‘Blue Monday’ myth that has no evidence base – there are good days and bad days and those are not for the calendar to decide)

·      In my coaching practice, the most common issue individuals want to discuss is how to manage feelings of overwhelm and exhaustion mostly relating to work

·      There have been a couple of pieces of research published recently that remind us avoiding burnout is not just an individual issue – our workplaces have a responsibility too

Here’s a reminder of the boiling frog analogy...

If you put a frog into a pot of boiling water, it would immediately give a powerful push with its legs and jump out.

However, imagine a pot filled with cold water. A frog is quietly swimming in it. When the heat is turned on under the pot, the water starts warming up which initially feels okay to the frog who keeps swimming and warming up. The water continues to heat and is a little more than the frog finds comfortable. It becomes a bit tired but doesn’t panic. The water continues to warm to the point the frog finds it very unpleasant but it has become weak so it puts up with the heat and does nothing. The temperature continues to rise up to the moment the frog will simply end up being cooked without ever extracting itself from the pot – in other words...burnout.

I’ve been an ‘almost boiled’ frog and a ‘simmering frog’ on a couple of occasions in different work roles over the years and I’ve learned ways to manage the water temperature instead.

However, as the research tells us, there are no single causes of burnout so there is no one size fits all solution. Recent research by Nick Petrie, a leadership researcher who interviewed a group of people who had experienced burnout and come out the other side found that it often occurred when a combination of factors occurred at the same time.

1.    Individuals tended to tell very similar stories and had these factors in common:

·      A relentless work ethic – a set of beliefs that drove them to work hard and give 100% all the time even when they only had 60% in their tank

·      Can’t switch off from work – they thought about it all the time and felt it was taking over their life

·      Stopped doing the things they know keep them well (e.g. choosing to work in the evenings over doing things they know will recharge their battery – time with family, walks, healthy food etc)

·      Ignored the warning signs – disturbed sleep, tense, irritated, tired but still couldn’t slow down as there was too much to do

·      Values not the same as the company they worked for

2.    The most common organisational factors were:

·      Unsupportive boss

·      Unrealistic workloads – often workplaces and bosses will reward those who work hard and deliver by giving them even more work because they trust them to deliver, putting excess pressure on those people

·      Toxic culture that did not address bullying

We all have different tolerance levels for pressure depending on what else is going on in our lives outside work but if several of these things are happening to you at once, you may well start to simmer in that hot water. The trap for many people is the belief that rest is the solution. So, even if you have noticed this happening and take a break, if you then go back to the same work, with the same mindset and the same behaviours, you are likely to get the same result.
 
So the solution is not just for the individual. The organisation plays a big role and should identify and address systemic factors that are putting people at risk. Another piece of research published last week by Oxford University, recognises the growing consensus that organisations must change the workplace and not just the worker.

Most wellbeing interventions at work are designed to promote changes in the individual’s behaviour or mindset, perhaps giving them tools so they can better manage the job’s demands, building resilience so that we respond better to stress. They have a part to play but sometimes can backfire. Stress and time management interventions make make workers more aware of unrealistic time pressures without being given the psychological tools to cope with them which can feed feelings of helplessness.

The researchers concluded that organisations would be better off spending time and energy on fixing the things that cause the stress (unrealistic workloads, management and leadership practices) rather than making it the employee’s responsibility to manage the stress more effectively.

So, when I work with people as a coach, we address feelings of overwhelm on two levels:

·      Individual: ways of managing the water temperature by ensuring your own battery is charged, controlling what you can control and focusing on what is important

·      Organisation: what conversations need to happen to ensure that the right structural support is put in place and promoting good leadership practices

So, if you are either (or both)...

·      someone who is struggling with your own feelings of overwhelm and want a thinking partner to work out how you can manage the water temperature

·      someone in a managerial or leadership position who wants to think through ways of supporting their colleagues or team

...then meet me for a free initial discussion and a coffee and we can discuss how I could support you with this. I’ve been there as an individual managing my own overwhelm and as a senior leader supporting others so I get where you’re coming from.

I can lead you away from the boiling frog territory and towards the world of the flourishing flamingo!

Email me on flamingoplm2022@gmail.com