Surfing the Waves: self coaching tips to help you manage life and work
“You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf”
The coaching community is full of innovative and creative people developing tools to support people to manage their lives. I meet these people all the time and rather than keep these gems of knowledge to myself, I want to share them with you.
This month, I want to focus on a fantastic tool developed by Lucy Mullins and Sonya Shellard, who are the founders of the Ride the Wave group of professional coaches. Their WAVES model really fits with our Jersey coastal life. We know that as we live our lives, we are faced with challenges. Some of these are like gentle waves that just bob us about a bit in the water and we work our way around or through them. Other challenges are like giant waves that knock us off the surfboard and leave us gasping for air. Sometimes we can see the waves coming and sometimes they rise up out of a seemingly calm sea.
It is how we deal with these waves that will determine whether we thrive or just about survive!
The WAVES approach to coaching has some great questions that we can ask ourselves to help prepare for whatever the sea brings our way. So, sit down with a cuppa, pen and pad and think about how you can surf the waves of your life.
What waves are you currently facing in your own life at the moment?
There might be some small ripples, rolling waves or taller ones. Write these down or even draw a series of waves representing each challenge and name them. Now consider how you might manage these waves by thinking through the stages of the WAVES model below.
Wait and consider: between a wave hitting and you responding, there is a space. In that space you can choose how to respond. It might be something as simple as taking a few deep breaths through your nostrils or counting to 6. Perhaps walk away and make a cup of tea. Perhaps you have longer to consider as you can see a wave in the distance. Whatever the situation, give yourself time to consider before reacting.
Assemble your resources. What or who will help you ride this wave? Depending on your challenge, you will need some or all of a ‘beach support team’! Who is your lifeguard, someone you know who is great in a crisis? Who is your first aider; someone who will be able to help you patch up any emotional wounds? Who do you want with you on your sun lounger; that person you can relax with, laugh and completely switch off? Who is your beach cleaner; a great planner, realist, pragmatist who might be able to help you practically? And who is your favourite beach buddy you can go for long metaphorical beach walks with; this will be the person you are inspired by, someone who just ‘gets’ you!
Voyage forth with determination: once you’ve got your resources assembled you are ready to ride your wave. It might be a short one or a longer one. Think about what you need to do to ensure this surf ride is the best it can be?
Experience the peaks and troughs: when you are facing your challenge, pay attention to how you feel. What is going on? Do you feel energised? Grounded? Do you need to adjust some of what you are doing? Do you need to bring in any of your beach support team?
Strengthen to surf again. Remember those waves will keep on coming. What have you learned that will help you ride future waves?
These are great reflection points to help us become more aware of how we are feeling and more mindful about the plans we put in place to support us. However, these questions are even more powerful if you work through them with a coach, who can help you explore in more depth what will work best for you and help you identify any blind spots – we all have them!
For a free discovery call to find out how coaching can support you ride your own waves without wiping out, contact Julie on flamingoplm2022@gmail.com