Find your ‘Ikigai’ and make values based decisions

The Japanese concept of Ikigai has been floating around my consciousness for the last few years as it pops up from time to time in magazine articles or LinkedIn posts, usually linked to self-development and work life balance. However, it’s only recently that I’ve started to explore it in more depth as it fits beautifully with one of the core concepts of my coaching practice: supporting clients to explore and understand what is most important to them in life.

Ikigai is made of up two Japanese characters representing ‘life’ and ‘value or worth’ – simply put, it is the value of life, the reason you get up in the morning.

So, Ikigai is about knowing yourself and what you want from life, the essence of transformational coaching. Although we often live happily making decisions based on our feelings and instincts at the time, we all know that life is short and for us to make the best of our limited time, being clear about what is important to us, will give us more of an opportunity to live a fulfilling life by helping us to make value based decisions.

I try and steer clear of the term ‘work-life’ balance. We cannot separate work from life as work is a part of our lives, not a separate entity. Sometimes work need to be more of a priority whether that is due to financial concerns or the nature of your job. Other times, you will need to prioritise family and work will fall further down your list of priorities. Whatever balance is right for you will keep shifting.

We’re all so very different so ikigai will also be different for us all. For some, it is enriching work, for others, it is building a family or community, personal development or adventure. Perhaps it is a combination of many life aspects. Our source of joy changes over time and depends on what happens to us and our circumstances. By being aware of what you truly enjoy and are passionate about (your ikigai) can bring you purpose, focus and direction and can serve as an anchor in your life.

I can see that my own ikigai has evolved subtly over the years. Engagement in impactful work, building a community of friends and personal development has always got me out of bed in the mornings and continues to do so. However, this has now been joined by a thirst for exploration...of the world, of writing and creativity. Knowing this about myself makes decisions much easier. Even simple decisions like how I spend my time becomes much more obvious when I know what my passion, purpose and direction is.

I now make values based decisions about my work and personal life because I know what direction I want to go in...and it is easier to say no to things that don’t fit!

I spend a lot of time coaching people who feel a bit lost or ‘stuck’ and it is often down to not giving themselves thinking space to explore what is really important to them. We’re often on a hamster wheel of busyness, our minds on autopilot and we don’t think twice before cramming things into our already full schedules. It can be really helpful to consider how you are spending your time and noticing any patterns.

What are you spending your time and energy on and much are you looking forward to it?

A simple question perhaps but it can be an important one.

When I say yes to a piece of work or a social activity when I wanted to say no, when I don’t prioritise connection and replenishment, I feel out of balance, irritated and sometimes resentful.

But...when I am engaged in work that is makes a difference to others, watering my friendships, creating space to write, making sure I am including yoga and walking in my week and making plans to travel or learn something new...I can feel the physical sensation of excitement and contentment. I am more able to manage life’s waves that come along (and there have been many this year!) and my resilience is stronger. This is my body and mind working in tandem to ensure my decisions and actions are consistent with my ikigai.

So, my ikigai acts as an anchor for my decision making, enabling me to make more solid and confident decisions.

Knowing what I am saying yes to and why, makes it easier for me to say no to that which doesn’t fit my values and means I’m living my life in a meaningful way for me.

As Yukari Mitsuhashi writes, in her book on Ikigai, “there is no right or wrong answer to what ikigai means to a person but one thing we can say for sure is that you can’t find your ikigai by sitting around the house”. I have lent her book to clients who have found it really thought provoking plus it’s an easy read.

However, if you’re interested in exploring what it feels like to live your life in whatever state of balance feels right for you, then get in touch on flamingoplm2022@gmail.com and we can explore how coaching could work for you.