Be more flamingo and make 2025 the year you want it to be…without a New Year Resolution in sight!
Being a Christmas Grinch, I instead enjoy the betwixmas time when I have no idea what day it is. I’m full of cake and chocolate, have binge watched a whole series of Virgin River but also itchy to start what I hope will be an exciting year.
Coming to the end of a year sees many of us in reflective mode. A couple of years ago I came across a post by Christine Armstrong on LinkedIn who had started an annual tradition with her partner (inspired by another LinkedIn colleague Felix Koch) to spend quality time away from responsibilities to workshop their life and help them to make the big decisions in their life.
It’s a technique I have often invited coaching clients to try with their significant others with such interesting results. It provokes focused conversations that often get brushed under the carpet, or put aside until you have time...time that never arrives.
You may or may not have big decisions in your life to make but even if not, spending time reflecting together on the year that has just been and the every day things that matter can make a big difference to how you make the most of the next one.
I usually reflect and answer these questions by myself but this year, (well the last two/three years really), my husband and I have been through some big life changes some of which were in our control, others very much not, (bereavement of a parent, moving house, job changes). It’s been full on and although we talk all the time, we hadn’t really stopped to really focus and take stock of what the culmination of all these events meant to both of us, how we felt about it, how it changed our perspectives and what we wanted to do next.
So we took advantage of a few days away in Oxford making the most of some annual leave that needed to be taken before the end of the year for my husband, away from all responsibilities to ask ourselves some key questions over the course of a few days – a couple a day over a glass of wine or dinner or when having a walk around the dreaming spires of the city. And even though we do already talk lots, I still learned so much from the answers to our questions. We had to challenge some assumptions we had made about what the other was thinking or wanted to do.
We are now moving toward 2025 with a clearer idea of how we want to end it, how we want to feel and what needs to happen for us to get there!
The questions we asked ourselves were:
1. What have been the highs and lows of this year personally and professionally?
2. Boosters and blockers: think about what has given you energy this year, physically and mentally. What activities, people, experiences or situations have fuelled you? What helps you to flourish like a fully flamboyant flamingo? What took energy away from you or left you feeling depleted? What has made you feel like a dull, grey flamingo? Imagine you are writing a manual about yourself, what would the chapters on self care include? How can we do more of what brings us energy and start to ‘declutter’ or think differently about those that drain us?
3. Imagine you climbed a mountain this year. Looking back down, what are you grateful for? This could be relationships,experiences, discoveries etc. Make a list or draw a mind map. Perhaps consider writing a note to every person who features on your map. Do it now – don’t wait. I didn’t do this and writing this now has reminded me to do it!
4. Think of the important people in your life (partner, friends, parents, children, colleagues, siblings). For each of them ask yourself – what does this person/group need from me this year. How can I show up for them? This simple question was one of the most enlightening ones!
5. Burn after writing! This is about letting go. Especially things we are unable to change. Is there anything you want to let go of before the new year begins? Write it all down. Take a picture...then burn it or chuck it away.
6. Saying no. The practice of healthy ruthlessness can be life changing. Boundaries protect your time, space and your self. Think about a time this year when you did something you didn’t want to do. List three things you want to say no to in 2025. This isn’t as easy as just writing things down and is one of the main topics brought to me in coaching!
7. Saying yes. Is there anything you regret not doing this year? What will you say yes to in 2025?
8. What conversation have you not had this year that you want to have in 2025?
9. Imagine the following: it’s a year from now and you are looking back at 2025. And it has been a great year. What would have made it so good? Make a list of the key things that will have contributed to it?
10. Looking back at all your questions and answers, what headline would sum up what 2025 could be for you?
My personal headline for 2025 is this...
Continue to walk toward, not away, from opportunity personally and professionally.
What might yours be?
So, my invitation to you is to either do this by yourself or with a significant other. But do it somewhere quiet which isn’t always easy in the middle of busy family times. If you can, maybe go for a walk together or go for lunch or coffee somewhere. It doesn’t have to be all at once, these are questions that get into your head and percolate there.
There is not a resolution in sight here because real change comes from understanding what your ‘why’ is. These questions bring you closer to your ‘why’ – what is important to you and why. Knowing this can help guide all your decisions and actions going forward.
Step into 2025 with the aim of being the most flamboyant flamingo you can be in the context of your own lives. And if cannot imagine this for yourself or if you have your answers and can’t work out the next step to make it happen...then get in touch. As a coach, I can support you to discover this and we can imagine and plan together.
See you in 2025 and let’s be a flamboyance of flamingos together…